Impact of Porn
Increasingly people are coming to relationship counselling because of problems with the internet sex or porn addiction.
If you recognise any of these signs, then the internet or porn may be affecting your relationship:
- Secrecy about online activity;
- Spending increasing amounts of time online, alone;
- You have compulsive thoughts about using the internet for sexual purposes or arrangements;
- Feeling more aroused by online activity than you do with your partner;
- Guilt about your internet time and angry if challenged;
- You say ‘internet sex isn’t real?’ so your partner shouldn’t get upset.
This topic can cause great stress in relationships. Just because technology is offering you access that is affordable and provides you with anonymity, it will not reduce the trauma of a partner discovering what they are likely to feel is as much a betrayal as a real life affair.
But rather than blame the partner using the internet, it’s often more useful to explore what’s going on in the relationship and how cybersex might be an escape from problems and reality, or as a comfort when feeling low, even perhaps in unspoken aggression and resistance towards the other partner.
Often in relationship counselling for internet or porn addiction, our counsellor will encourage discussion about your emotional needs underlying your internet use. Yet although many people are aware of some disadvantages of online sex or relationship sites, counselling can help explore what you gain from the sites that you visit and there can be powerful drives for you to acknowledge.
Time spent online is time spent away from your partner (as well as friends, children and family). So counselling can help assess your needs and choices in your relationship and how this might be addressed. Contact us today for support
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